Before Overt
I keep feeling as if my past experiences hinder me in my relationships with my children and spouse. I want to learn to process those, think and feel in ways that best serve me, and learn to communicate in ways that are helpful. I know I am not alone in struggling to learn how to be the best I can, but I also know I lack skills I need.
As a child, I struggled with the divorce of my parents, feeling unloved by them, moves, deaths of loved ones, plus guilt from the choices I made, and struggles from treatment I received. I struggled majorly in my teenage years with depression, some with anorexic tendencies, and thought of suicide several times. I knew in my heart that it wasn’t normal, but I was often lead to believe that I was the problem and tended to believe that.
I left my household as soon as I graduated in hopes of feeling more hope for my future. I was married to my husband that same year and pregnant with our first child. A huge portion of the first part of marriage was working through that we didn’t know each other all that well. We have since grown our family more, bringing three other children into our family.
We will have been married for twelve years on October 10th. Our marriage has been like many others, where we have had to deal with blending different backgrounds, navigating various beliefs and maturing together. However, we have struggled to. I have struggled at times to stay committed to the marriage; in fact, back in 2017, I contemplated divorce most of the year. By God’s saving grace, I was introduced to some life coaching podcasts. Through what I learned from them, my marriage survived. I can now say that I am fully committed to my marriage and to learning and growing however I need to for the rest of my life.
In the past year, we made a huge life choice to sell our home and move. In the past couple of years, we have also had deaths of loved ones and three miscarriages and health struggles. Since this move, I have had some incredibly low periods of time. I am currently accepting how things are, and managing it all okay. I feel like I need help processing it all, though. I feel like I am failing my family and have often felt like I was deficient or flawed. I don’t want to feel this way, so I know that it is time to seek help.
Although I am trying to learn how to parent and work through everything I need to via books and podcasts, I feel like I am still lacking what I need. I have learned through life coaching podcasts that circumstances are neutral. I am trying to choose feelings that better suit me, but I struggle to implement it all.
I am sure that if I seeked therapy sooner, that it would have been helpful. However, I am confident that it is never too late. It is my greatest hope that you will review this case and see merit in helping me cope with the past and my present so that my future will be even better. Thank you for your consideration!
My husband is employed and works hard as an automotive mechanic to provide for our family while I stay at home as mother and homemaker. We have a household of 6, with our youngest being 2 1/2 . We have always done our best to meet our own financial needs and responsibilities.
Unfortunately, at this time, our oldest daughter requires braces, of which we are paying for out of pocket. My husband also is needing a surgery to remove a mass that we do not anticipate his and my Blue Cross insurance covering. It feels like it is of great importance that we also address mental health at this time as well.
Receiving this subsidy would make it possible for me to receive the help I am needing as soon as possible instead of them having to wait months down the road. I do not forsee us being able to afford therapy otherwise.
During Overt
Week 1:
I loved that my therapist was able to easily pick up on the things she needed clarification on. She took the time to draw out my family lineage, so she could better understand the dynamics and where people fit in that I referenced. She could easily see that the things I have been struggling with the most stem from childhood trauma. We addressed the biggest trauma that has been affecting me lately
Week 2:
I left feeling more compassion towards myself and choices I have made and feel hope and more purpose in my life.
Week 3:
My thoughts have been reasonably focused on the present and future. I have had very empowering thoughts, which I also love. I find so much joy in working with this therapist. She is helping me find the thoughts that best serve me.
Week 4:
Feel slightly optimistic that a shift will be able to be created within myself that will create lasting change. I firmly believe that therapy is helping me, though, so I am working on changing what I tell myself.
Week 5:
I felt heard by my therapist and by myself. My favorite part would be that we worked together to find the alignment and affirmation statements that resonated with me the most.
Week 6:
I feel a lot of peace in regards to therapy and what I have been processing. I feel very empowered to be able to move beyond situations and feelings that have hindered me in the past. I have been able to think more positively.
Week 7:
I feel increased commitment to processing my emotions. I feel open to and accepting of life. I liked being able to neutralize some of my childhood trauma. I have been working hard at recommitting to loving myself enough to feel all of my emotions and choose healthy foods again.
Week 8:
My therapist helped me address hormonal & energetic imbalances that have been hindering me for a long time. She did this quickly and effectively, which allowed time for us to still address trauma that caused a PTSD response recently.
Week 9:
In this past session, I greatly appreciated neutralizing some of the trauma that was impacting me substantially. I have been pretty optimistic, accepting, and been able to be present & work though emotions. I want to keep working on addressing the difficulties in my life.
Week 10:
In my most recent session I felt very heard, understood, loved & accepted. I felt like my therapist was very inspired and was able to help me in the exact ways I needed it. We addressed an extreme anxiety attack I suffered last week while driving home. My therapist was able to help me pinpoint what exact fleeting thoughts triggered it, where they came from (what fears and trauma), and helped me with neutralizing the trauma & changing the dialog I have in my mind. She was also able to suggest what will help me in the long run in shifting my thinking/perspective. All of it was exactly what I needed and profoundly helpful.
Week 11:
I have been progressing a lot with improving my internal dialogue. I have been feeling more peace, health, and sense of direction because of it all.